“Coleyology” Interview

I was recently interviewed by the lovely and talented Nicole Lemaster for the “Coleyology” podcast, a program which focuses on consciousness, mental health, and holistic living.

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In this lively, personal, and candid interview, Nicole and I discuss such things as focusing on therapy client strengths, framing problems, co-creating novel experiences, hoodoo, the paradox of trust, writing books, and humor in the therapy room.  She was a delight to interact with and I really enjoyed our chat.

To listen to the interview, go HERE

New Book Now Available!

My latest book, Unlimited Resources: Simple and Easy Ways to Find, Access, and Utilize Client Strengths and Resources to Facilitate Change, is now available.

Unlimited Resources COVER

I wrote this book for psychotherapists who are interested in directing their therapy sessions toward a focus on client strengths and resources instead of an excessive focus on problem investigation and client pathology. I offer case studies, transcripts, and practical examples to give therapists and coaches simple methods for implementing resource directed ways of working.

To get your copy, go here.

Episode 22: Dana Rideout Inteview

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Psychotherapist, yoga instructor, corporate consultant and entrepreneur, Dana Rideout, is interviewed in this episode. Dana discusses her path from working in special education to finding her work as a therapist. She also discusses working with trauma and “First Responders.” the use of mindfulness to help others find the missing neurological pieces to facilitate effective interaction, getting past comfort levels in therapy, using yoga for treating anxiety, and balancing “knowing” and “not knowing”.

For more information on Dana and her work, check out her website: danarideoutlpc.com

Episode 20: Helen Adrienne Interview

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In this episode psychotherapist, trainer and author, Helen Adrienne is interviewed. Helen is a graduate of Rutgers University and Fordham University Graduate School of Social Service, Helen has trained in family therapy, mind/body therapy, cognitive therapy, guided meditation stress reduction techniques, and Ericksonian clinical hypnotherapy. She is an approved consultant for the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in New York and New Jersey, and a Board Certified Diplomat in Clinical Social Work.

Helen is the best selling author of “On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility” and a founding member of the New York City chapter of RESOLVE™, a national infertility organization. For many years she has run mind/body support groups and other programs through RESOLVE™ for the infertile patient.

In the interview Helen discusses her work with mind/body stress reduction, fertility issues and teaching clients how to escape from stress and move into themselves, the importance of following therapeutic hunches, and the art of letting things spontaneously unfold in a session.

For more information on Helen Adrienne’s work, check out her website: www.helenadrienne.com

That is so random….

My present belief system is that clients seek help from a therapist due to their feeling stuck in some way. Their ability to work through what they perceive as a problem is hindered by their attempting to deal with the problem with a pattern of action/reaction which furthers to cement the pattern and, unfortunately, makes it worse. If clients are continuing to perform the same patterns of action, thought, and emotion toward the problem, then the problem will be maintained and clients will feel it insurmountable to overcome. This will lead to them perceiving their problem as a personal reality and their automatic responses to this “reality” further solidifies the pattern.

In order to facilitate a change in these patterns, I believe therapists must be comfortable talking about and doing things that are unexpected and random. Our therapeutic interactions are there to provide clients with new information which can be used to alter the patterns which have previously caused distress. When new and random information enters their present perceived reality, then their reality has to adjust. Sometimes merely giving straightforward logical information in dialogue may not be very effective due to the brain being stuck in a deeply entrenched pattern. Introducing the random into a session can cause the brain to experience different and new realities which can create a shift in how clients respond to their problems. As Gregory Bateson stated in his classic text, Mind and Nature, “Without the random, there can be no new thing.”

Lucky Dice showing a pair of sixes.

Random information can come from anywhere. Sources such as popular culture, spirituality, childhood hobbies, fine arts, etc. can all introduce new information about different ways to respond to old problems.  Further examination of the problem and trying to solve the problem only continues the process of the problem. Introducing the random or unexpected into the problem alters the problem.

I once had a client who was dealing with social anxiety issues and panic attacks due to a variety of factors. He was very worried about running into people he used to know and their observing how little he had advanced in his life. He stated he knew he was depressed and was not in a good place to talk to former friends as he “did not want to burden them” with his problems. When he did go out he would sometimes have a panic attack which would cause him to immediately return home. He felt stuck and more depressed due to his inability to go out often.

PATTERN: Go out –> worry about seeing someone he knows –> think about the present condition he is in and the shame he has about it  –> have a panic attack –> immediately go home

I heard him state that he didn’t want to “burden others” with his problems. I immediately latched onto how a desire to not burden someone was actually an act of compassion. I told him that his concern for how other people feel was quite remarkable. I complimented him on how compassionate he was to willingly allow himself to suffer so that others would not suffer. I told him it was possible that his unconscious mind could even be creating these panic episodes to help shield others from feeling his pain. He responded favorably to my conjectures. Our conversation on compassion continued as we discussed many other examples of times he was kind to others. Since he was a religious person, we also discussed the spiritual role of compassion and the many saints who had shown great compassion while going through hardships.  The topic of compassion was a “random” entry into the interaction as neither of us expected it to appear. It did not fit the prearranged pattern of the problem.

I then told him that it was not fair for him to waste his compassion being alone at home. We had to come up with some way for him to help others with his strong sense of compassion. I told him he had much to teach all of us about how to become more compassionate in our lives. I reminded him about the hardships that the various saints had to face trying to spread their messages of hope to others. I let him know that he could not fully show compassion by staying at home. He needed to find somewhere to interact with others on a small scale to help them learn to have compassion toward themselves. He agreed that this was important work to do. In time, he found that when he did go out he was not as nervous as before and he found that he could interact with people with fewer panic episodes. The random inclusion of “compassion” into the pattern caused his reality to adjust. His previously self-defeating fear was now a source of compassion to be shared with others.

Random information does not come from a scripted, rehearsed treatment protocol. It can only come from an alive interaction with room for spontaneity. It also does not come from excessive problem investigation. When we allow the random to show up in our therapy room, we can let it flow as we ride the wave of interaction.

Episode 17: Bette Freedson Interview

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In this episode we interview author, psychotherapist, and speaker Bette Freedson. Bette is a clinical social worker, practicing in Southern Maine. Bette is the author of the acclaimed book, “Soul Mothers’ Wisdom: Seven Insights For The Single Mother”. Her work has appeared in The York County Coast Star,“Calgary’s Child Magazine,” “Working Mother Magazine,” and “Women’s Day Magazine,” among others.

In this interview we discuss the role of utilizing intuition in psychotherapy, the overlooked importance of relationship in therapeutic research, circularity in interaction, working with single parents, and Bette’s “S.O.L.V.E.” schema for therapeutic interventions.

For more information on Bette Freedson’s books, articles, training, and therapy services, check out her website: bettefreedson.com

Creating Ethical and Effective Directives

I received a question the other day about the use of directives in psychotherapy due to my having written other posts about applying absurdity and paradox as effective therapeutic directives. The question I received is “How do you do directives in an ethical manner”? This question caused me to pause as I usually do not think about how I do directives as being unethical at all. Upon further reflection I think the question came about because of the power distribution within the session in which directives arise. In order to give directives, the therapist has to become the “director” of the session and cannot be merely a passive onlooker. This can create concern for those who are uncomfortable with having a larger amount of power and control in their therapy sessions. I completely understand this concern.

 

Ethics

 

To address this concern, first, I must state that if you are a therapist it is crucial that you adhere to the ethical guidelines set forth by the organizations who are involved in your licensing (APA, ACA, NASW, etc.). Thoroughly knowing what is appropriate and what is not in the ethical codes is an important part of being a professional therapist. If there is uncertainty on one’s part about a course of action, I recommend consulting with a colleague or supervisor to bounce ideas off of so that one can have a better perspective on a directive. The allure of power can be seductive so it is imperative that we in the healing profession proceed with caution. At the same time, we need to not be so uptight and worried about what we are doing that we lose our spontaneity and creativity.

Secondly, I think the best way to use directives is to simply ask yourself, “Would I be willing to do what I am asking my clients to do?” If the answer is “yes”, then implement the directives. If the answer is “no”, then do not implement the directive. If we are unwilling to do what we are asking of our clients, then not only are we not congruent with the therapeutic offering, but we are also putting unnecessary burdens and expectations on the people we are trying to help. By approaching directives with this mindset, it creates an opportunity for us to expand our own comfort zones. If we ask our client to do an odd action to change his or her patterns of interaction, then why not implement that same pattern in our own lives? It may help us become less regimented and more creative in how we approach our own problems. I have a rule that I never ask any of my clients to do anything that I would not be willing to do. This helps keep me mindful of the issue of power in the therapeutic relationship and also reminds me that there are areas that I need to work on and expand in myself.

A recent example of this occurred when I had a client who was very anxious about having things in order. She specifically was bothered by the idea of germs in her home. I was able to get her to agree to not wash one of the pans she used in cooking for two days (it was no small feat to get that agreement!). This allowed her mind to observe that not having everything perfectly clean would not automatically lead to excessive germs and sickness. As I gave this directive, I noted that I can be a bit of a neat freak in my own home. I make my bed and wash my dishes daily and do not like things out of order. As a result of giving her the directive to not wash a pan for two days, I decided to implement a similar directive for myself. I did not wash a pan for two days nor make my bed. This may seem like it is not a big deal to some of my readers, but for me it was an annoyance to alter my usual routine. It did pay off as I reminded myself that routines are sometimes made to be broken and it also gave me a level of congruence with my client.

If you direct your client to stand up more for himself in situations where he would previously back down, then make sure you are willing to stand up for yourself in a situation where you usually back down. If you want your client to expand her comfort zone by try something new, then make sure you are willing to try something new outside your comfort zone.  By being willing to do what we ask of people we can defend against potential ethical issues.

 

Episode 13: Clifton Mitchell Interview

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In this information packed episode, Dr. Clifton Mitchell is interviewed about how to effectively and creatively deal with difficult and resistant clients. Clift is a licensed psychologist and an international clinical trainer and keynote speaker. He is currently a professor of counseling at East Tennessee State University in Johnson City, Tennessee, where he received the Teacher of the Year award in 2002. He has taught hundreds of mental health organizations, businesses, leadership and civic organizations effective techniques for improving communications and for creating change through the precise use of language. He is the author of the book, Effective Techniques for Dealing with Highly Resistant Clients, in which he presents cutting-edge approaches for managing psychological resistance in creative ways. He has published in numerous professional journals and his ideas and writings have also been published in “Men’s Health Today” and “Barron’s Financial Weekly.” His website is http://www.cliftonmitchell.com/

Episode 12: Lisa Dion Interview

Lisa Dion

In this episode, the dynamic and engaging Lisa Dion is interviewed. Lisa is an therapist, international teacher, clinical supervisor, author, and entrepreneur.  She is at the cutting edge of her field creating new and innovative models of therapy with children and adults. She is the creator of Synergetic Play Therapy, the first research-informed play therapy model to blend together neuroscience, attachment/attunement, physics, emotional congruence, nervous system regulation, and mindfulness. Lisa is also the founder and Executive Director of the Play Therapy Institute of Colorado.

In this interview Lisa discusses important concepts that apply to any area of therapy, including the need for therapist authenticity,  the therapist being the most important “toy” in the playroom,  the amazing story of what lead to her to create her form of play therapy, the importance of the therapist accepting aspects of him/herself in order to create change, and being open to possibilities that can occur in surprising ways.

In addition to her clinical work, Lisa has also launched multiple for-profit and non-profit businesses and is a business consultant to various organizations worldwide. For more information about Lisa Dion, check out her websites: www.synergeticplaytherapy.com and lisa-dion.com